Arranged marriage or love marriage, what does youth prefer?

This question has been looming around for a long time, what is better, arranged or love marriage. We did a little research and asked around in order to dwell a little deeper on this thought. We decided to get our hands dirty and get on ground to clear the air regarding what actually the youth wants, love marriage or arranged?

Let’s understand the dynamics of love and arranged marriage first. In a love marriage the couple already knows each other. They know what ticks their partner, their likes and dislikes, their expectations, goals and aspirations. Love is the binding glue that keeps them afloat. Understanding and support is something that is expected by both the partners and delivered also to an extent.

Now if we talk about arranged marriage, it is a more traditional setup. Parents find a prospective partner and then you have to figure out in some brief 1-2 encounters if that’s someone you’d want to spend the rest of your life with. The good thing here is that since the parents are already on board, a lot of complications that happen in a love marriage if the family is not agreeing to it, can be easily avoided. An arranged marriage is a family affair, and everyone seems to be benefitted by it in the end.

There are few pillars on which a successful relationship stands. Love, understanding, support and space are one of the major contributors of ensuring a happy and healthy marriage. In the case of love marriage, since the partners are already fond of each other and know each other inside out, it is assumed that these important pillars will be there. But through our research we found out that this necessarily may not be true. There are so many relationships that are just thriving because the people don’t know how to operate without each other. Such relationships are continued because of the habit of one another rather than the mutual understanding or love. In such a scenario, things won’t work well even if you get married. If your partner is not appreciative, understanding and supporting you to pursue your dreams, then it feels more like a cage than a happy and committed lifelong partnership.

Our parents mostly found their forever person through an arranged set-up. They didn’t know each other well when they got married, and treated it as a thrill to know each other better. The initial courtship period, and the early marriage days are something they still cherish and talk about with so much joy. They developed understanding and appreciation for one another through the course of marriage.

Our generation has become quite aloof because of the fast paced life that we are all indulging in, not that there’s much option. We have immersed ourselves in work over the weekdays, some side hustle to make our dreams come true, and weekends are reserved for rejuvenation. We are moving away from the social world, which is ironic because we are the most connected generation because of so much innovation in this field.. Casual dating, lack of communication and time, commitment phobia, etc. are pushing us away from forming meaningful connections. People don’t have time for love anymore. Life is becoming quite monotonous. People have also become quite rigid in their lifestyle, they don’t want to change it for anyone, it’s too much of an investment that they are not really willing to make.

The insight that we got from this piece of research was that our generation is moving towards more convenience seeking patterns. They don’t care if they are meeting their partner through love or arranged set-up, as long as their routine and schedule isn’t disturbed. They are having a more healthier approach towards marriage. Girls and boys alike, have their priorities straight. They know what they want from their partner. They don’t want to compromise on whatever they already have and want their partner to add a value to their already designed life. They are also becoming bold in their choices, they are okay with taking help from matrimonial sites, dating apps, matchmakers to find that perfect someone if they have to. They know what they want and won’t settle for anything lesser. We found couples who were dating for 10 years and then decided to not get married, because it didn’t seem right and then moved to an arranged set-up. Similarly we also found people who couldn’t find what they were looking for in the arranged set-up and decided to give it a break and let life happen. Everyone from our generation craves belongingness, but they don’t want to settle for it. They know their worth and are ready to wait for someone who is perfectly aligned to their idea of a partner. Contrary to popular belief, our generation doesn’t really want to break up at the drop of a hat, they’d much rather take their time and finally tie the knot with whom they feel they are most compatible. They are of an idea that love eventually fades away, it’s the essence of understanding and support that makes a marriage thrive and not just love. 

So whether they meet in an arranged set-up or are already in love, they are very aware about what they want for a happy and sustained companionship, and wouldn’t compromise on that. It is a matter of who clicks with your soul and then matches the vibe, everything else can be taken care of.

With Pakki jodi we make sure to help you connect with people who share your interests and thought process. We are against the idea of compromise in a marriage, but are of an opinion that the couple should complement each other and not complete each other. Register today to find your pakki jodi, let’s get you married the way you want to!

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